Why?
by cookiedough24
Summary: 30 Seconds To Mars fan-fiction. Jared Leto comes home to disaster.


_**A.N: This is my first attempt of a sad story. It is written from Jared Leto's point of view. Thank you and enjoy!**_

_I couldn't believe it. Another date I have to check off my list. She was upset, of course she would be. I had to tell her though; as soon as possible. I waited until midnight knowing that she would be awake early._ _"Hey sweetie, I don't think I will be back until, well, late tomorrow. I'm sorry I've screwed up your birthday plans. I'm so, so sorry. It's just they want me to do another promo for the album on my own this time… honey?" _

"_Yeah, sorry, I was just looking forward to seeing you." Her voice was all wavy. I was unsure if this was from the signal or if she was crying. I'd hate to do that to her; it's the last thing I'd ever want to do. _

"_I know, I feel dreadful and I promise you, this will not happen again. Ok, I will make sure of it."_

"_Ok."_

"_Hey," I pleaded with her, "Please don't be upset. It'll make me feel worse." Good. "Oi! Smile. Please, for me. Think you'll get to save the best birthday present for last. Look, I have to get going now. I love you so much. I'm sure everyone will make your birthday special."_

"_I love you too" was the only response I had gotten._

_As I put the phone down, I felt a tear fall from my own eyes. What had I done? I couldn't let the echelon down though. I've given them everything, they'd given me support, and I needed to show I cared. _

"_Jared. 5 minutes then we have to go" Emma blurted. She stopped and stared, "You ok?" _

_I wiped away the tear, "Of course I am. 5 minutes? Let's go now. As Benjamin Franklin said; 'By failing to prepare, you are preparing to fail!'" I marched out of the room, throwing my jacket and shades on to hide the sadness in my eyes. All the way to the lobby of the hotel, all I thought about was her voice; the high pitch that wavered as she attempted to speak. She was basically pissed off. I knew that tone to well it seemed now-a-days. I clambered into the car, letting the driver shut the door behind me. Today, I couldn't cycle. The echelon knew where the press conference was being held and so security had sent a car especially._

_During the promo, I put on a brave face. Smiling, fucking about, being the Jared I know everyone loves. Of course I would NEVER let the echelon down. I didn't want them to be sad watching me upset. They were my family. I NEVER want them to see me in pain. Those few hours couldn't have gone past any slower. Yet it would be the next few hours that would be even slower. _

_I had gotten back to the hotel suite at 7pm (around 3am in London). I knew she was going clubbing in the afternoon, I had arranged it myself. Tomo and Shannon were to be there with Vicky and Antoine Becks; Antoine naturally hitting the decks. Tomo had urged me to call him as soon as I was out to see how it went. So, I called. _

"_Yo Tomo, its Jay"_

"_Hey Jay, yeah I can see it was you on caller ID."_

"_Oh yeah." I did a nervous laugh, "So how did the party go? Was she ok? Did she get drunk? Did everyone turn up? Shannon and Antoine ok? Did their set go good?"_

"_whoa whoa bro. One at a time. Yes it went great. She was fine until two hours ago; Shannon had to take her home. Gunna be a nasty hangover I can tell you that! Their set went fine though. Antoine just finishing packing up now. When's your flight?"_

_I took in every detail of the information Tomo gave me. I needed to make sure she was home ok, "uh, 7am I think, and I'll be with you guys by this time tomorrow. Tomo, where's Shannon now?"_

"_I don't know, he text me saying he was at yours. No reply since then I don't think. He was slightly out of it so he probably crashed on your sofa."_

"_Ok, I'll ring and see where he is."_

"_Sure, ring me back if you can't get hold of him. I'm just going to walk back to the Hive with Vicky. I had such a great idea for that song we need. Oh and Jay are we still going to call the album 'A Beautiful Lie' yeah?"_

"_Yeah. I'll talk about it tomorrow. I'm so tired."_

"_No talk of business over the phone. Sorry I kinda forgot."_

"_It's ok buddy. I'll catch up tomorrow."_

"_Sure. Remember to ring me if you can't reach shannimal."_

"_Of course. Night bro" I hung up the phone. I had to reach Shannon. So much panic was running through my mind and was taking me over. I dialled his mobile and impatiently waited for the answer. Five rings later he answered._

"_What the fuck Jay have you seen the time?"_

"_Bro, I'm sorry, but did she get home safe?"_

"_Yeah she did. Sorry bro I crashed on your sofa."_

"_Hey it's fine. Just go check if she is ok please."_

_I heard a grunt from him and then some rustling. A few seconds later it stopped._

"_Jay…"_

"_Yeah." His tone didn't sound good._

"_Shit. Um you may wanna … well …"_

"_What Shannon? What's happened?" The panic grew inside me. The butterflies started flying in my stomach._

"_Shit, this isn't going to be easy. She's fine. She's um, naked."_

_I felt a slight bit of relief, "Just get out then Shan"_

"_No Jay you don't get it. I … I uh. I woke up naked too."_

_My heart stopped._

"_Bro? Jay you there?" _

"_Please tell me that. That that. That didn't happen."_

"_Jay I honestly have no idea. We were both drunk. I. Shit I hope not. Fuck I'm sorry bro."_

_I couldn't hear anymore. I hung up. He tried to call back a few times. Emma walked in, "Jared. Are you going to answer that?" I just looked up to her. A tear trickled down my face. _

"_Where's the guitar." I whispered. She wouldn't look away. _

"_I'll go get it." She quietly said._

"_Thank you" my voice cracked. I had never been this upset before. My heart felt heavy. My own brother. My girl. It didn't make sense to me. There is no such thing as accidental infidelity. Therefore, she had to go. My heart had to be thrown out of the window at full speed, crashing to the ground, going into nothing. Not even Cameron made me feel like this. At least that was mutual break up. I stood up and looked at the ring I had bought the other day. The one I was supposed to use today. 5 minutes before midnight I was going to propose. I was going to be the happiest man in the world. I'll forgive Shan eventually. I needed time to get over it._

"_Here" Emma passed over the guitar; Beautiful. The strings were correctly tuned to the perfect pitch. I began to play around with chords; Dm, Bb, Gm, Dm, Bb, C, Bb, C, Bb, C. Yes I liked that. I hummed the tune as I played to get into it. Eventually words sprang out of my mouth; Did we create a modern myth, did we imagine half of it would happen in a thought from now, save yourself, save yourself. I struggled with the next bit. My mind found different words and phrases but none stuck. They were all of her. Of her beauty. Of her deceit. Of the treachery. Her secret was now out in the open. I played with that. The secret you held is out. That secret is now mine. The secret is in the open. I settled with The secret is out. It summed it up perfectly._

_The flight back was painful. I wore my shades to hide my eyes. They were bloodshot and red filled with constant tears. People were staring as I clambered into the car sent for us. I loved the British accent. The driver said that it would be 30 minutes before parking to collect my bike. So I waited. Time went past as you sung and discussed business deals that were flying past by head. I couldn't concentrate but I had too. _

"_Here" called the driver, "Now Mr Leto, whatever has gotten you down, you'll forget about it soon."_

_Ha. Soon; My troll word for the Echelon. I wonder if they thought of it as so much of a troll as I do. "Thank you Jim. Me and the guys will need picking up this time next week. I'll see you then."_

"_Always a pleasure sir. Enjoy your stay in our beautiful city." London was a beautiful city, one of my favourite places in the world. Now it holds a memory of one I cannot forget._

_I'm a reasonable man, so I needed to see her before I ended it. I didn't want to be harsh. I didn't want to be fair. I collected my bike and cycled up to the house. I had bought it for us a while back. I didn't want the money back, I wanted my dignity back. I was Jared Leto. I wanted to feel like I still had something to go for. I had to find out WHY. Shannon didn't know he even did anything. I pulled up outside and went in. I paused as I gazed around the home I helped construct for the future. Well, that was torn apart now. I slowly walked through into the kitchen where I threw my shades. I poured myself a drink then drank it in one simple gulp. I ventured outside to where I found no one. Upstairs was a different story. My cases had been dropped off at the bottom of the stairs, yet one had been dragged upstairs. I wondered around trying to find it. Eventually, the only room left was the bedroom. I knocked three times before croaking a hello. Very carefully, the door knob twisted and revealed the small women of about 5 ft 4, dark hair, and slim figure in her pyjamas. Her brown eyes were as bloodshot as mine. Without a word, she opened the door wider to reveal my case. I went towards it as a whimper came from her mouth._

"_I didn't mean to Jay."_

_I didn't know what to say. I just picked the case up, before sighing and turning to face her. She was so beautiful. It was so hard to let go._

"_Please Jay. You have to believe me. The drink. I was lonely. Shannon was, well, just there. He's you. He's your blood and I couldn't help myself. I was fed up and missing you."_

_I interrupted. "You couldn't help yourself." I focused on those words she said, "So who's to say, if I go on tour again. If my schedule gets busier, that you may not be able to help yourself again. You can't cope with me being away." I sighed, "I love you. I love you more than anyone in this world. Yet, you cannot fit into MY world anymore. I can't get it in my head what you've done. I'm sorry. I just can't do this. Shan.." I cracked. My voice broke and wavered at my brother's name, "Shannon. He is my brother. Even if you had to, why him? Actually, I don't even want to know. I'm sorry. Keep the house. I don't want to sleep in this bed anymore. You can also have my heart. I won't be giving it to anyone again who cannot help themselves and be like this when I'm off doing the one thing I love. So, this is the last goodbye." Still holding the case, I walked up to her. My mouth touched the top of her head to kiss her one last time, "goodbye" I whispered as I walked out of the house to the removal van ready to collect all of my things._

_**A.N: what do you think? Let me know! Cookie Dough xo**_


End file.
